We offer a 100% money back guarantee if you are unsatisfied with your order for any reason.
- 3 - 5 days anywhere in the U.S.
- 7 - 10 days outside of the U.S.
Contact us at email@example.com with the word REFUND in the subject line. Provide your order number and the reason why you hate us. FYI we will find the person responsible for your dissatisfaction and publicly shame them, Game of Thrones style. For more information, check our refund policy.
Josh, the bastard child of news legend Ron Burgundy, grew up with a passion for success. He also had “daddy issues” and desperately wanted to please his father. He thought that creating a successful Scotch Whiskey company would make his father proud. When that business failed, he disappeared into the wilderness of Tibet, vowing not to return until he had “found himself.” Ten years later Josh returned to California with a team of ninjas and four flavors of ridiculously delicious jerky. He had found his calling. The rest is history.
The disappearance of our founder Josh began innocent enough with a trip to Tibet. While touring the Jokhang Temple he heard murmurs among the monks of a forgotten spice. Like the city of Atlantis, this delicious spice had been missing for so long that it had become a myth. Ancient stories tell of a spice that offered the freshness of mint, the sweetness of molasses, the spiciness of chili peppers, and the vitality of ginseng, all rolled into one. He was intrigued. Josh began to wonder if this spice really existed and if so, had it ever been used on beef jerky. As the founder of the world famous Five Finger Jerky, he knew it was his responsibility find answers. Josh checked out of his hotel determined to find this forgotten spice and deliver it to the masses through Five Finger Jerky. It's now been two months and Josh has been spotted only once. We all miss him and we’re beginning to worry. His last sighting was in a Turkish bath house where he was reportedly partaking in a drinking contest with Saudi royalty. If you have any information on his whereabouts, please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you!
Stupid question. They're all the best.
We already answered this question. It’s on the Internet, so we can’t lie.
Life has no meaning other than that to which we assign it.
Due to a pending court case in Slovakia, we can neither confirm nor deny the alleged vitality benefits of our HERO MAKER jerky. What we can say is that it will help you save the day.